


Famous Blue Raincoat

by ronsparkyspeirs



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Break Up, F/M, Jealousy, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unreliable Narrator, but so is darcy so it works out, steve is kind of an asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-11-28 19:39:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11424789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronsparkyspeirs/pseuds/ronsparkyspeirs
Summary: She thinks she might have been a fling for him, someone convenient that didn’t come with baggage or the pressures of a real relationship. After all, in the beginning they hardly ever saw each other. A month later she finds out she’s pregnant.





	1. New York is cold, but I like where I'm living

Darcy knows that for all her show of confidence and sassy attitude and snarky commentary, there’s always been a part of her that feels she’s not good enough. It started in her childhood when she so desperately wanted to be a ballerina but pretty soon found out she had neither the coordination nor the drive, it was devastating. And that feeling chased her through middle school, and high school, where she was always just out of reach of being the perfect student, never good enough for first prize. Then came college and she was left wandering and aimless, being a professional college student until she met Jane. With her, the feeling of inadequacy only ebbed and flowed depending on thr day, she knew jack shit of whatever Jane was talking about half the time but then the scientist would forget to eat and Darcy’s purpose became clear.

 

Caring for Jane and managing the hectic schedule of an astrophysicist gave her something to do, a goal in her life. It was cool.

 

Then she met Steve, beautiful and kind Steve. She meets him through Thor, at one of those fancy Tony Stark parties that he throws just before the whole Sokovia Accords fiasco. Steve had been a smart ass and so completely different from how Darcy had imagined him from those old news reels. They joked around and Darcy couldn’t believe she was actually discussing her favorite movies with Mr. America himself, needless to say she was shocked when at the end of the night Steve asked for her number and said he would text her.

 

Darcy thought he was just being polite, surely he was too busy to converse with a civilian on the daily, and surely, most definitely he probably had supermodels and famous actresses that he would rather text with. Never in a million years did she think she would receive a text at one in the morning a week later from Steve.

 

_Just finished watching Lost In Translation, I’m not sure how to feel about the ending. But you’re right, the girl definitely looks like Nat!_

 

And that’s how it started, a silly little text message that had Darcy grinning from ear to ear the next morning. They kept corresponding, texts, emails, phone calls, and the occasional face time when time permitted it. They developed a relationship that’s beyond anything Darcy’s ever had in the past, they don’t even have sex till month five of sending each other funny videos, simply because they were always at opposite ends of the Earth; Darcy with Jane and Steve with his whole Avenging gig. But it’s real, and it means something to her, she’s happy and tells Steve she loves him one night when he visits her while she’s in Paris with Jane for a science convention.

 

And she can’t believe that little orphan Darcy Lewis from bumfuck Kansas is dating Steve Rogers, it’s like something from out of a dream. And then Tony Stark himself is offering Darcy and Jane a job in New York and she’d be stupid if she didn’t take it. Jane doesn’t go right away, she heads to Asgard instead but Tony assures her that there are scientists that need wrangling back at the tower, Darcy hadn’t known he meant himself and Bruce but she was glad; they were both in desperate need of some mothering and Darcy was glad to be of use.

 

She doesn’t tell Steve about the job offer or her acceptance, and perhaps that was the beginning of the end for both of them, but you know, hindsight and all that. She surprises him one day in Tony’s lab, his eyes widen and then his jaw clenches and Darcy thought for sure he’d be at least a little happy to see her. But instead he says, “Can we talk in private, please?”

 

Darcy nods and dumbly follows him out to the hallway, he puts on his serious face and starts talking to her as if she were a child, he says things about _safety_ , and _danger_ , and Darcy’s blindsided. She was not expecting Steve to lecture her on the dangers of being in close proximity to superheros, because hello, she’s been bros with Thor for years and everything’s been sort of hunky dory.

 

“I can’t be around to protect you all the time, Darcy,” he says, with such sincerity that she’s almost tempted to slap his face.

 

“Who says I need protecting?”

 

“Darce, living here, it’s different than being with Jane--”

 

“How is it different?” she interrupts.

 

“You’d be in direct proximity to any threats to myself, or Tony, or any of the other members of the team that have made enemies.”

 

“Steve, I could get hit by a car, there could be a freak accident and I could slip and fall in the shower, there’s danger everywhere,” she sighs, knowing she’ll sound like a brat but not really being able to help herself, “I thought you’d be happy.”

 

He apologizes and they make up, Steve showing her just how sorry he is by helping her christen every flat surface in her insanely luxurious apartment. Darcy also fails to mention that he hasn’t made their relationship public so there’s no reason why members of Hydra or whatever will connect the two of them together.

 

* * *

 

 

Sometimes she watches him, everyone seems to gravitate towards him, both men and women. He can’t help being charming and funny and even when he gets all flustered and shy over a compliment it’s so goddamn endearing that everyone can’t help but love him even more. The thing is, it’s not just Steve being Captain America, it’s just Steve being Steve. He has all the useful qualities of a good politician without the seedy counterparts, and Darcy should know, she studied political science after all.

 

And like a good politician girlfriend, Darcy knows that Steve doesn’t truly belong to her and just her. A part of him belongs to the people, to the entire world even, his image as Captain America is not just something he can shake off at the drop of a hat. And then there’s another part of him that belongs to whatever agency is currently in charge of superheroes, wether that be SHIELD or the SSR or the Avengers, those parts of him, Darcy hardly ever encounters. Steve makes sure to keep her sheltered from the more shady aspects of his job.

 

And then there’s just Steve. The guy that likes to leave silly cartoons drawn on napkins beside her coffee in the mornings, the guy that always forgets to put the seat up on the toilet no matter how many times Darcy reminds him, the guy that murmurs endearments in her ear while he makes love to her. The guy that calls her sweetheart and doll, and who always grins when she leaves lipstick marks on his face.

 

But even then, sometimes he gets this faraway look in his eyes, he grows quiet and distant and it’s then that Darcy knows she’ll never really have all of him, no matter how hard she tries, Steve will always leave a part of himself in the past. In the what-ifs and in dreams of growing old with Peggy Carter. She can’t compete with a ghost, but she tries, because say what you want about Darcy but she’s never been a quitter. And anyways, who is she to complain? Jane has to contend with the world’s longest distance relationship and does she hear the scientist complain about how terrible it is? No, she researches better ways for intergalactic travel  and gets on with her life.

 

So Darcy tries.

 

 

...

 

The team goes on missions and they keep growing strained. Steve is relentless in his search for Bucky and Tony is almost desperate in his need to do good and right his wrongs. Clint and Natasha are always away on missions and when Jane and Thor finally arrive things are almost at a boiling point between the rest of the Avengers.

 

Darcy’s been feeling it for months. The growing tension, the harsh remarks, the distance between herself and Steve.

 

“I just need to find him, Darce,” he tells her over the telephone one late night.

 

“Of course, I understand,” she responds, because what kind of girlfriend would she be if she resented his brainwashed bff.

 

He goes dark for a month and a half and then the Sokovia accords happen.

 

Darcy didn’t know where Steve or Sam or anybody was, Bruce had gone on a sort of sabbatical somewhere in Asia, and Jane had left again with Thor to Asgard, she sees Natasha briefly in the lobby of the tower one day but the redhead only gives her a tight lipped smile and then she too is gone. Then finally one day Tony comes back, Colonel Rhodes in crutches behind him.

 

“Your boyfriend’s a jerk,” is all Tony says.

 

Of course much later she finds out the whole story. Rhodey fills her in one day as she makes him brownies in the industrial sized kitchen in the common room.

 

She receives an email from an unidentified address two months later with some coordinates that lead to Wakanda. A week after that she’s on an unmarked plane and fifteen hours later she’s in front of Steve, his face tired and his eyes sad. She knows it’s the end when she sees a tall blonde standing somewhere behind him.

 

Steve tells her everything. About Bucky, about Peggy, he apologizes and Darcy tells him it’s okay even though she knows it’s really not. She makes love to him that night with tears in her eyes, he keeps his closed and it only makes it harder for Darcy to keep from crying. He’s gone and there’s nothing she can do about it, that sensation of not being good enough creeps its way back into her head and it’s the only explanation she has for him not loving her anymore, if he ever did love her at all. He’s picked his life and it doesn’t include her, she needs to let go and the quicker she can do so, the better.

 

The next morning she wakes up alone in her bed, she makes her way to the common room that King T’Challa has designated for his guests and there she sees what she will later describe as the moment Steve broke her heart. He’s sitting next to the blonde she saw yesterday, _Sharon_ , they’re both discussing something intensely, their heads close together, then slowly, Steve’s hand raises and gently, he pushes a strand of hair away from Sharon’s face. Just like he used to do with Darcy. The sad part of it all is that they’re so into each other that neither of them realize that Darcy’s standing a couple of feet away.

 

She doesn’t even say goodbye. Darcy has too much pride and too much hurt to face Steve after their “breakup.” She leaves a note on his dresser, a simple ‘it was nice knowing you, hope everything works out,’ she can’t let him know how much he hurt her, not when she’s not even sure he ever loved her back. She thinks she might have been a fling for him, someone convenient that didn’t come with baggage or the pressures of a real relationship. After all, in the beginning they hardly ever saw each other.

 

A month later she finds out she’s pregnant.

 

* * *

 

 

At first Darcy thought it was stress. Working for Tony had put her through the wringer lately, and Bruce had come back busier than ever, she’d chosen to immerse herself in her work so much that a week had passed before she noticed she missed her period. So she gave it a few more days, and nothing, but it wasn’t unusual, it had happened to Darcy before. It’s not until week three that she seriously starts considering the possibility of being pregnant. She remembers that in her stupid grief over losing a boyfriend she conveniently forgot to take the pill, for fuck’s sake, _it only happened once_ , so she buys two of those cheap drugstore sticks and both test positive, she goes down to a woman’s clinic in Brooklyn and the doctor confirms her worst fears. She’s pregnant with Captain America’s baby and he has a brand new, shiny girlfriend.

 

She panics and it must be so evident on her face that even Tony notices.

 

“What’s wrong Lewis, you look like you’re about to hurl any second,” he says. And something in his tone, the familiarity, the flippancy, makes her blurt it out.

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

Tony gets that look he usually gets when he's working on a particularly difficult math problem, but he's not a genius for nothing, he works out the time frame and then he's looking at her with something close to sympathy, “This have anything to do with your fake secret trip to Wakanda?”

 

She nods because if she starts talking she’ll start freaking out and if she freaks out, Tony will also definitely freak out too. 

 

He sighs, deep and heavy, “You know, I take care of my friends, Lewis,” Tony says, and Darcy legit almost throws herself at him but some shred of dignity is still left intact so she just barely manages to stop herself.

 

“Thank you,” she tells him, a watery smile on her face.

 

Tony nods, “I take it baby daddy doesn't know about this?”

 

“No, and I’d like to keep it this way, please.”

 

Truth be told, Darcy hadn't really given Steve much thought after finding out she was pregnant, other than being the guy who knocked her up, her thoughts were more of the _oh god, what am I going to do_ , variety. But now faced with the choice, she really doesn't want to tell Steve, and she doesn't care if it's selfish or whatever, Steve left her behind and she’ll be damned if she lets him do that to her baby too.

 

“You gonna keep it?” Tony asks, motioning to her still flat stomach.

 

“Yes,” she says, with a conviction she didn't feel a couple of hours ago.

 

“I need to get out of here,” she says suddenly. And Tony looks at her like he understands, and perhaps out of everyone in the world he is the most likely to understand. No one knows how to run from their problems better than Tony Stark, and this might turn out to be a big deal if she doesn't nip it in the bud.

 

“Alright,” he says, “what do you need?”

 

Darcy knows it's too early to blame the pregnancy hormones but she gets the sudden urge to cry at his words and it takes everything to not burst out in tears, “Thank you,” she tells him.

 

Tony shrugs, “You're a good kid.”

 

“And Jane?” he asks.

 

“I’ll call her,” Darcy responds, knowing it will be much harder to leave Jane behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy leaves and starts building another life for herself.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy goes to Canada. She wants someplace that's far away from superheroes and sketchy spy agencies but not too far that she can't call Tony if she ever gets in a jam. Stark sends money every month, a  _ stipend  _ he called it “for all the hard work you did the last eight months,” Darcy laughs but she doesn't say no, she knows how expensive utilities and rent are, and now more so with a baby on the way. 

 

But still, she get a job at a cute little diner as a waitress (because even though she finished her poli-sci degree, Darcy doesn't have the inclination for political affairs anymore) near her apartment in the city, it doesn't pay much but the owner hired her on the spot and she gets all the free food she wants.

 

It's nice, peaceful even. She establishes a routine and sticks to it, she hardly ever thinks about the Avengers anymore, hardly ever dreams about Steve, really.    

 

There's no T.V. in her home and the diner only has a jukebox, so any news concerning superheroes almost never makes its way to her. Canada is nice that way, there's never any life endangering events going on.

 

She calls Jane and makes her promise not to tell anyone where she is or why she left. Jane not only promises, she  _ pinky  _ promises, Jane is a good bro. But she also promises to go see her once the baby is due, Darcy agrees and the two resume their conversation over the merits of breakfast for dinner. Tony calls her sometimes, asks her about the baby; once, she almost invites him to visit but when she remembers how hard it would be for Tony to come up with an excuse to travel to Canada she quickly back tracks. Tony understands, he tells her he’ll visit when the baby is born.

 

One day Darcy makes the mistake of going into a corner store where the owner is watching Ellen on a tiny television set. She's stocking up on potato chips when she hears his voice.

“I haven't got much time for dating, actually,” Steve says.

 

Darcy knows that's his deflecting tone, “That's not what I’ve heard!” Ellen teases.

 

“And just what have you heard?” Steve asks, laughter in his voice.

 

“I heard that wedding bells are in order!”

 

The audience erupts in cheers and gasps and laughter, but the worst part is that Steve doesn't deny it, he laughs along and Darcy leaves her potato chips on the shelf.

 

That night she cries herself to sleep.

 

…

  
  


SIx months later on a cold December night, Darcy gives birth to a healthy baby boy she names Robert Lewis. She’s alone in the hospital room and no one can make it in time to visit her at the hospital but she’s never been happier. She’s never been more in love and it’s strange that it’s with a little bundle she just met. Little Robert has all ten toes and fingers and when the doctor declares him perfectly healthy, Darcy cries; She’d been having nightmares where her baby was born just as sickly as Steve had been before the serum. So it’s an enormous weight off her shoulders when they let her hold her tiny, perfect, baby.

 

The nurses coo and gush over the baby’s blond hair and that time Darcy does manage to hold back a sob.

 

…

  
  


Time passes and after many sleepless nights and many days where Darcy wondered if she was really cut out to be someone’s mother, Bobby (as she’s taken to calling him) learns how to crawl, soon enough he’s toddling his way around their tiny apartment on unsteady legs. She sends Tony video of the first steps Bobby takes without aid, Tony texts back with, “I knew you’d make a great mom.” 

 

Jane visits often, when she can, she even manages to snag some time off in between her busy science schedule to celebrate Bobby’s first birthday with Darcy (Tony is off on Avenger business and sends way too many toys that Darcy plans to space out throughout the year). They end up taking him to a park and then buy an ice cream cake that the three devour without any remorse. 

 

Jane’s been oddly quiet and Darcy’s about to ask if something’s wrong when the other woman breaks the silence, “Steve was at the tower the other day,” she tries to say casually. 

 

Darcy ignores her but Jane Foster didn’t get to where she is by being subtle, “He asked about you.” 

 

Darcy scoffs, “Nice segway, Jane.” 

 

Jane throws her hands up in defeat, “All I’m saying is, if you’re ever planning on telling Steve about his secret love child, then now would be the time.” 

 

Darcy rolls her eyes, “And why is that?” 

 

Jane’s face lights up like when she gets a new piece of science equipment and Darcy’s not sure she likes where this is going. “Because,” Jane starts, her tone oddly smug, “I saw things, and there seems to be trouble in paradise with Agent Blondie.” 

 

“Jane, stop,” Darcy says, her voice full of censure. 

 

“What? Steve had his disappointed face on and Agent Blondie practically ignored him the entire time they were there.” 

 

Darcy sighs, “They’ve been together, what? Two years? I hardly doubt they’re splitting up anytime soon.” 

 

“You never know,” Jane sing songs. 

 

“Why are we even talking about this?” 

 

“Because I'm starting to wonder if Bobby’s ever going to find out who his father is,” Jane says, seriously. 

 

“There's plenty of single moms out there, doing great, he doesn't need a father,” Darcy responds. 

 

“How long do you think you can hide this, Bobby’s practically Steve’s clone pre-serum, it’s only a matter of time before people start putting two and two together,” Jane tells her. The thing is, Darcy  _ knows _ . She knows how everyday that passes it makes it that much more difficult to let Bobby know his daddy’s the most patriotic superhero there ever was. And Darcy knows that telling Steve will only be harder. 

 

…

 

Turns out she doesn’t have to make that decision herself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have Darcy go live in New Mexico but then I thought about all the media coverage the Avengers might get in the MCU and was like nah. Also, I do read everyone's comments!! Thanks so much for liking this story!!!


	3. And when she came back she was nobody's wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Darcy reunite.

 

 

 

 

Canada turns out to be not so safe and not nearly far away from New York to Darcy’s liking. She lives too close to the border and the next thing she knows there’s a legion of doom aliens or alien robots or  _ something  _ marching their way through the city. Everything happens quick like it does in these kinds of situations, first there’s confusion, then there’s that impending sense of insecurity because even the police force is struggling against the things. And it’s only when the robots/aliens start spitting fire that Darcy panics, because it reminds her of the destroyer in New Mexico and also the fire is spreading and she left Bobby at daycare and the streets are filled with frightened people and she can’t seem to make it two blocks away from her job.

 

So with teary eyes and a lump in her throat she presses the little purple button that Tony had personally designed and installed on her Stark phone for emergencies. She had really hoped she would never have to use it. 

 

He calls back immediately, “We’re on our way,” and Darcy’s not so stricken with anxiety that she doesn’t fail to notice the plural he snuck in there. 

 

* * *

 

 

Of course the entire team shows up, even the newly joined former Winter Soldier. Tony finds her in the midst of all the chaos and without warning lifts her from the ground, his face plate goes up, “Tell me the address, Lewis,” he says, sounding all Iron Man and not at all like the man who sends her memes at three in the morning. She quickly spouts off the address she has memorized and they fly off towards their destination. 

 

Tony drops her off a block away from the daycare because it’s too dangerous for her to get closer and Darcy nearly doesn’t let go but the functioning part of her brain tells her that Tony has a job to do and he’ll bring Bobby safely back. 

 

Clint spots her in the middle of the street and grabs her by the hand, he starts pulling her away and Darcy digs her heels into the cement, “But Tony’s--!” she protests. 

 

“He’ll find us,” Clint responds, and then, “I’ll put you over my shoulder if I have to,” he tells her when she hesitates, and she knows he’s not above doing that so Darcy lets herself be led away. He takes her to a pizza restaurant that has long been evacuated and has since been acquisitioned by the Avengers. Bruce is there, waiting to see if they’ll need the Hulk, he gives her a sheepish smile from his spot by the window and Darcy knows that Tony’s let Bruce know where she’s been this whole time. She lifts her hand in a small wave, too strung out to even talk. He seems to notice something’s wrong and hands her a bottled water and it’s all she can do to stop that childhood habit of biting her nails from rearing its ugly head. Tony hasn’t returned and she needs to get the fuck out of dodge before the rest of team starts cleaning up. 

 

But why would things suddenly start going Darcy’s way when they clearly have not in the past? One by one the team enters the shop, seemingly only minutes after she arrived. They’re all as polite as they can be, they haven’t seen her in nearly two years and Darcy wishes she could turn invisible. Their silence says everything. Steve’s the last one to arrive, his helmet off and his hair in disarray. There’s soot and blood on him and Darcy despises herself for the way she still finds him attractive after all this time. His eyes widen when he sees her, but before he can say anything, she hears Tony land outside, the distinct high pitched voice of a small boy making its way through the open door. 

 

She pushes by Steve just as Bobby runs towards her, his short, stubby, legs, windmilling as he practically flies to hug her. “Ma!” he shouts, and Darcy swings him up in her arms, she squeezes him close and buries her face against his towhead. Bobby babbles a mile a minute, Darcy managing only to understand a couple of words that describe how excited he was to be up in the air and flying with Iron Man. 

 

It’s safe to say that Darcy wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole when she hears the Winter Soldier let out a slew of profanities in what sounds like Russian. She turns with Bobby in her arms and everyone is staring at her, the entire room so quiet she could hear a pin drop. 

 

She glances towards Steve and she can practically see the wheels turning in his head, he didn’t have that tactician mind for nothing. He turns to look at Bobby; his sharp gaze assessing the little boy clinging to her neck. His eyes take in the same shade of blond that adorns his own head, he takes in the blue eyes that look so big and familiar, and then of course, Darcy’s always been pale like moonlight and yet, and yet this boy is golden tan just like him. 

 

Darcy starts shaking, he  _ knows _ , there’s no way he hasn’t figured it out. 

 

She’s close to hyperventilating when out of the corner of her eye she sees Natasha ushering everyone out, The Winter Soldier glares at her as he passes by and if the situation wasn’t so serious she would laugh. Steve has gone pale, his lips pressed into a thin firm line, the little furrow between his brow that she used to find so endearing only serves as a reminder of his palpable disappointment. 

 

Finally after what seems like ages, he speaks, “Is he mine?” 

 

Darcy swallows the lump in her throat, “Yes,” she responds, her voice breaking with the inevitable answer. 

 

Steve looks like he’s about to cry, his eyes rimmed with red and the saddest expression she’s ever seen on him. For so long Darcy was mad and bitter, and even jealous of Steve; his happiness made her resentful, knowing another woman was doing what she couldn’t just made it worse and then her anger would rise and she would feel justified in hiding his son away from him. In those moments she felt vindicated, but now, faced with his sadness she almost wishes for his anger instead. 

 

“How could you?” Steve asks. 

 

“Can we not do this right now?” 

 

Steve tightens his jaw and she curses her luck, he was always so stubborn except when it came to her. Darcy walks towards the door with Bobby still in her arms, she spots Tony just a few feet away and waves him over, the bell above the door jingles as she pushes it open, “Can you take him?” she asks, setting Bobby on the ground so Tony can grab him by the hand. 

 

“Y’aright, kid?” 

 

She nods, unsure but unwilling to let Steve know how frazzled she truly is, “Just gotta have a talk first.” Tony gives her  _ the look,  _ the one that says she’s being a complete idiot but he understands; it’s comforting to know that there’s someone out there that will never judge her for her mistakes. 

 

When she turns around, Steve is staring at her in disbelief,  _ sometimes he’s too smart for his own good.  _ “Tony knew?” he asks, his face set in that earnest sad face she’s only seen when he talked about his past. 

 

Darcy bites the bullet, “He’s the one that helped me move.” 

 

Steve looks like he’s about to cry, there’s a mixture of hurt and betrayal in his face and Darcy despises him in that moment. She wanted anger, lots of it, shouting definitely and maybe a few pieces of furniture thrown around just for giggles. Instead Steve is standing there trying his best not to fall apart. And it’s not her fault,  _ it’s not _ , things got so fucked up and now she has to deal with it. 

 

He breathes in deeply, exhales loudly and then, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

 

And that’s the million dollar question isn’t it. She could have said something, she’s had almost three whole years to tell him but Darcy never said she was perfect, or even a particularly good person. There’s nothing that sounds like a good reason, nothing that could justify her reasons without making her sound irrational,  _ goddammit,  _ this is not how she envisioned telling Steve. In the beginning she used to make up scenarios in her head, of her returning to the tower, a visible baby bump and Steve would be so happy to see her again, he would wrap her up in his arms and love her like he didn’t when they were together. But then she saw the interviews, the paparazzi pictures of him and Sharon laughing and holding hands and looking so in love; and she knew she didn’t have a chance, not her or the little life blossoming in her womb. 

 

And Steve never tried. He never tried to contact her or even ask about her whereabouts, she knows because at first she used to ask Tony. Questions that made her sound desperate and pathetic to which Tony would only answer with a tired sigh and a quiet ‘no.’ And that’s why she never bothered telling Steve about his illegitimate son. 

 

“You never loved me,” she tells him, Steve looks about as shocked as she feels admitting that out loud. 

 

He starts shaking his head but Darcy interrupts, “I  _ loved  _ you, Steve, I would have given you  _ everything  _ if you had asked for it. But you never did,” she shrugs, “and so I did what I thought was best for me at the time.” 

 

Steve’s eyes are red rimmed and it only enhances the blue of his irises, he’s so beautiful and she’ll never have him again. 

 

“Darcy, I—I’m sorry, I was—“ 

 

“I don’t need you to say it, it’s too late for both of us don’t you think?” 

 

“I would like to try, can you at least give me that?” He responds and Darcy feels her hackles rising, she guesses Steve will always be a sore spot no matter how she sees it. 

 

“Try? Are you trying to absolve your own guilt or mine?” 

 

Steve’s shoulders slump in defeat, he looks so tired and she probably looks like shit, “Can I see him? I would like to spend some time with… with my son.” 

 

There’s tears in her eyes when she responds because there’s no turning back now, she’s going to have to share the only thing that’s ever been truly hers with the man that broke her heart, “Sure, Steve, you can see him.” 

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait! I'm terrible at updating but I hope you guys are still interested and still reading. Also this turned out to be way more angst filled than I thought.

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to famous blue raincoat by leonard cohen on REPEAT while writing this. I like writing sad stuff so it's going to be a lot sadder before it gets better. also don't know how many chapters this will be yet, probably 4-5 because I am THE WORST at updating fics.


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